Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. city', he recovered.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.

It's not lying when you do it to officers!

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

Maladict had hallucinations, but Wazzer had a certainty you could bend steel around. It was the opposite of a hallucination, somehow. It was as if she could see what was real and you couldn't.

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Without the right succession planning put to play in human resources, we build for the future without a future

We always hate people who surprise our secrets…

There’s no hope for someone who doesn’t even know what hope is

There is no honor in sending men to die for something you won't even fight for yourself

I really don't have a favorite team.

it's spring when the world is puddle-wonderful

Italians have a very closed life. Football is all their life is.

Overstated planning is the backbone of understated elegance.

Idealization of a group is a natural consequence of separation from the group; in other words, it is a by-product of alienation.