Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

The best things in life aren't things.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The things that matter most are not things.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.

Today the idea of the shed blood of Christ is becoming old-fashioned and out of date in a lot of preaching. It is in the Bible. It is the very heart of Christianity.

To be interested solely in technique would be a very superficial thing to me.

Few things are as bad as a guilty conscience.

We must.. We must bring our own light to the darkness

Because scientists know that all human beings do not age at the same rate, biological age is measured by how well one's physiological systems are functioning.

It's ironic that the Bible belt is the killing belt - Texas, Florida, Alabama, Virginia, and so forth, Georgia. Chief executioners.

I'm trying to find myself. Sometimes it's not that easy.

Amy Adams is the wish your heart makes…she’s wicked good.

I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.