Anybody can have a life. Careers are hard to come by.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Something contracts in my chest. The air shifts, grows heavy and dense as mud. Alexa twists her hair around her finger and whispers, "Didn't you even try to escape, Charlotte?

As simple as it sounds we all must try to be the best person we can: by making the best choices by making the most of the talents we've been given.

I knew I was going to do something great. I knew I wasn't going to die 20 miles from where I was born, no 20 miles from where I lived.

Few speeches which have produced an electrical effect on an audience can bear the colourless photography of a printed record.

Drawing is . . . not an exercise of particular dexterity, but above all a means of expressing intimate feelings and moods.

I tried to log on to the Obamacare website today. I don't think I'm doing it right. I lost 300 bucks playing Texas Hold 'Em.

I went to school. I went to Juilliard. You spend 13 hours a day on voice and speech. Now I realize why.

Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.

The surest sign that God is alive in you is joy.

Real revolution starts with learning.