Anybody out there who is a parent, if your kids want to paint their bedrooms, as a favor to me, let them do it. It'll be OK.

It's not about how to achieve your dreams, it's about how to lead your life, ... If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.

When we're connected to others, we become better people.

The person who failed often knows how to avoid future failures. The person who knows only success can be more oblivious to all the pitfalls.

No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.

Want to have a short phone call with someone? Call them at 11:55 a.m., right before lunch. They'll talk fast. You may think you are interesting, but you are not more interesting than lunch.

Never make a decision until you have to.

It's a thrill to fulfill your own childhood dreams, but as you get older, you may find that enabling the dreams of others is even more fun.

When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.

Please don't die.

If your heart has no peace, then the value of your life is nothing.

A school for the writing of nonsense and the pursuit of extraordinary activities.

If it is true that wars are won by believers, it is also true that peace treaties are sometimes signed by businessmen.

If I offend anybody tonight, I apologize. That's not my intention. I'm not going to guess what your personal line of decency is; I cross my own from time to time - it's how I know I still have one.

Great Britain would spend her last guinea to keep a navy superior to that of the United States or any other power.

... but the rain Is full of ghosts tonight

Some wits, too, like oracles, deal in ambiguities, but not with equal success; for though ambiguities are the first excellence of an imposter, they are the last of a wit.

Every move we make in fear of the next war in fact hastens it.

It is fairly clear that many of the arguments against proposition testing are really arguments against propositions themselves.

The Quaker loves an ample brim, A hat that bows to no salaam; And dear the beaver is to him As if it never made a dam.