Anybody that has a decent job or career has it because they love what they do.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Like walking through a door. Our relationship immediately attained a sepia tone: the past.

HE LOOKS AT ME AND TELLS ME IM AGGRESSIVE, HE'S OBSERVING ME. "-CRUSH

Furious activity is no substitute for analytical thought.

Lives are a lot like money

The darker the subject, the more light you must try to shed on the matter. And vice versa.

Herbs are the friend of the physician and the pride of cooks.

I wanted to be a rock star.

You're one of 6.5 billion people now on the planet, and 99.9 percent of your genes are the same as everyone else's.

To be human is to seek perfection, and find joy in never attaining it.

I'm scared of watching a TV show about vampires. I can't fall asleep.