Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Do not swallow bait offered by the enemy. Do not interfere with an army that is returning home.

In blink of an eye everything can change, so forgive often and love all your heart. You may never know when you may not have the chance again.. Good to you all..

A woman's love for a man is half animal passion and half hate. The more a woman loves a man, the more she hates him.

It is not very often that an opportunity comes knocking. But when it does, you better be bathed and dressed and ready to answer its call.

LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

America is a remarkable place in that social attitudes change almost imperceptibly, and then you wake up the next day and they've changed. But they've been changing all the time.

Most of what I listen to now is mainstream jazz from 1935 right up to and including early bebop and cool jazz.

Revolutionaries are rarely motivated primarily by material considerations-though the illusion that they are persists in the West.

Don't yield to that alluring witch, laziness, or else be prepared to surrender all that you have won in your better moments.

The life history of the individual is first and foremost an accommodation to the patterns and standards traditionally handed down in his community