Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy

An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet

Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what

If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse

Even if not a single fossil has ever been found, the evidence from surviving animals would still overwhelmingly force the conclusion that Darwin was right.

As an entrepreneur, value creation will always be your first line of defense against business failure.

When taxidermy is done well it's an amazing piece of art.

Israel, as the Jewish state, must disappear from the map.

If I wanted to be a pop singer, I would have done that 20 years ago. I love country music.

As we say in the sewer, if you're not prepared to go all the way, don't put your boots on in the first place.

Ah Japhy you taught me the final lesson of them all, you can't fall off a mountain.

I really don't want to thank my wife because I could be bussing tables at the Daily Grill right now if not for her. Jesus, what a gig that'd be.

When I started CNN, I made the decision to stay out of endorsing candidates, and let the doers make up their own minds about politics, that it wasn't going to come from me.

Anyone can like their job... To love your job is not enough, you must give your passion to your job.