Anyone who gets divorced goes through a lot of pain ... I don't think I want to get married again.

I don't expect success. I prepare for it.

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees.

Laughing can serve you in dark moments and even help you crawl your way back out.

Everyone thinks their baby is a genius. People find it delightfully refreshing when I tell them, My baby? Totally average. Like, 100 percent average.

I just love bikes. It's not the safest passion to have, but I guess it's better than Russian roulette.

There are so few surprises left in life. We've gotten so addicted to knowing. It's the Google generation. We want the answer to everything right now!

If it weren’t so off-putting for my co-workers. I’d wear my flannel, one-piece 'Hannah Montana' pajamas, like, all the time!

I've done things to my body, mechanically, that I'll never do again. I've done stunts that I shouldn't have done 10, 11, 12 times. I've broken a ton of bones on sets.

Guys are lucky: We can wear a suit over and over, just with different shirts and ties.

When you give up because challenges arise, you are just too ignorant about the power of the gifts you carry within you.

He was a thinker, but also a man of action.

Next to the virtue, the fun in this world is what we can least spare.

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th century.

I'm used to people being a mile away. That suits me. It's more nerve-wracking playing in front of people who are two feet away from me.

Other-cheekism is not only a way of purifying the soul, it is also part of every weak person's survival kit.

Al Davis treated me like son. That man helped me become the man I am today.

Political truth is libel; religious truth, blasphemy.