Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

He stood up straight and looked the world squarely in the fields and hills. To add weight to his words he stuck the rabbit bone in his hair. He spread his arm out wide. "I will go mad!" he annouced.

Imagination is like a muscle. I found out that the more I wrote, the bigger it got.

Jesus Christ said 'by their fruits ye shall know them, ' not by their disclaimers.

Why do you write like you're running out of time?

Leadership is found in the action to defeat that which would defeat you… You are made by the struggles you choose.

A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.

I'm no good at down-time. I panic slightly and then plan a project or set up a meeting about starting a project.

Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away."

If it wasn't for 2 Live Crew videos wouldn't look like they do and rappers wouldn't sound like they do.

The deeper and richer a personality is, the more full it is of paradox and contradiction. It is only a shallow character who offers us no problems of contrast.