Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.

Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.

Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.

They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.

Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.

When in doubt, blame the dark elves.

He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.

People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital

She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.

Age does not protect you from love. But love to some extent protects you from age.

You love him as a falcon loves his master who binds and blinds it.

You never get a straight answer from captains. You should know that by now.

I believe in goodness, mercy and charity. I believe in casting bread upon the waters.

I think my drive to work has gone up a bit since I've gotten older.

Talking high philosophy often confuses people, but a look from an egoless person can lift the clouds of pain and despair.

The real problem with the IRS is that they let General Electric not pay any taxes -- and 50 other corporations -- that's the real scandal.

Human beings remain constant in their methods of conduct.

I'd rather lose an argument than get into a long discussion in order to win it.

A strong-willed child - a strong-willed child, more than anyone else, needs to learn to use emotion and discussion to resolve issues. That's the last child in the whole world you want to hit.