Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

I care about you as people, and I believe you are capable of great things. Each of you will contribute something to this world. You are important. You would be missed.

In some way, every creative action disturbs the universe.

...you can use words if you wish, but I'm warning you - I've learned how to read your heart ...

Your worst enemy is not the person in opposition to you. It is the person occupying the spot you would be fighting from and doing nothing.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

If your expectations aren't to be the best, then... you know, nobody rises to low expectations.

The Tao is told is not the Tao.

To the extent a person makes, invents or thinks something that is new to him, he may be said to have performed a creative act.

I wonder what my speech would be.