Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

The more we read, the more we learn.

It is not the crook in modern business that we fear, but the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.

The plain truth is that the period I study is the 16th century, and they were absolutely obsessed with witches and spiritual beings.

The goal [of mine] was always to work in as many different genres as I possibly could.

To give oneself is the only way of becoming oneself.

Lampoons, like squibs, may make a present blaze; but time and thunder pay respect to bays.

The mutual fund industry provided the money for Intel and Motorola and Hewlett-Packard to crush the competitors.

The key to successful aging is...to pay as little attention to it as possible.

My brained warned me, but my heart didn't want to take its advice.

Don't over-react to the trouble makers.