Anything can happen with a razor.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

Women can really be who they are. I'm about to say the F word, feminist. Often that word has such a negative connotation.

I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That's what keeps me going.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

Always keep your anger bottled up. You might need a bottle of anger some day when friends come by and won't leave.

I have to find work wherever it might be hiding.

And I'll tell her that I don't want my life to be samples and scraps. A taste of everything but a meal of nothing.

Politics is so difficult, it's generally only people who aren't quite up to the task who feel convinced they are.

Moral wounds have this peculiarity - they may be hidden, but they never close; always painful, always ready to bleed when touched, they remain fresh and open in the heart.

The most important thing for old guys is never start going down the stairs sideways.

Success as I see it is a result, not a goal.

Surely if there be any habit which your own hand and eye should help in forming, it is the habit of prayer.

The issue isn't just jobs. Even slaves had jobs. The issue is wages.

Secret guilt is by silence revealed.

My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?

Not one atom can rest until it finds its freedom.