Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

You can't connect the dots looking forward

If anyone spends almost the whole day in reading...he gradually loses the capacity for thinking...This is the case with many learned persons; they have read themselves stupid

There comes a moment... When imagination gives out and Reality leaps forth. It is frightful!

I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.

I just mix and put things together the way the spirit moves me.

There is no tradition more worth of envy, no institution worthy of such loyalty, as the University of Georgia.

A man is not a financial plan.

What you do to benefit the lives of others will ultimately also benefit you.

Hold on to your salah, because if you lose that, you will lose everything else.