Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will.

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.

And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up.

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.

Mothers are all slightly insane.

I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.

Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.

Going to see plays isn't what you people should do. Try looking at yourselves a little more often and see what gray lives you all lead. How much of what you say is unnecessary.

Everyone has his faults which he continually repeats: neither fear nor shame can cure them.

Now let's get talking: reefer madness. Like some arrogant government can't, By any stretch of the imagination, outlaw a plant.

White folks are not going to come to see a bunch of guys with tattoos, with cornrows. I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks different, they're stupid.

I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.

Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results.

This moment is so much bigger than me. It's for every nameless, faceless woman of colour that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened.

A man will always promise to do more than he can do to a woman he cannot understand.

Beware of harking back to what you once were when God wants you to be something you have never been.

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.