Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche, and the Reagans mean to say it all.

The unfed mind devours itself.

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

Persuading the people to vote against their own best interests has been the awesome genius of the American political elite from the beginning.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.

Knowledge does not keep any better than fish.

The secret of a happy life is respect. Respect for yourself and respect for others.

Make your blade a water-seeking missle

When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.

We can learn to be whole by saying what we mean and doing what we say.

A person without regrets is a nincompoop.

There always should be something hanging unfinished before a scene ends so that there's a reason for going to the next scene.

Impossible is not a fact... it's an opinion. What's impossible only remains so until someone finds a way to do what others are sure can't be done.

The greatest products of architecture are less the works of individuals than of society; rather the offspring of a nation's effort, than the inspired flash of a man of genius.