Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

If you love someone, you're not supposed to want them to come back. Better a peaceful sleep in the earth than the life of a zombie--not really dead but not really alive, either.

Do me a favor, Dallas. Tell me what games we're playing today so I can be sure to play along too.

There is no cause for nostalgia save the good and life-enhancing nostalgia for the present.

Only the good die young.

Sometimes in life situations develop that only the half-crazy can get out of.

If it had been possible to build the Tower of Babel without climbing it, it would have been permitted.

I find that protein wakes up my brain and gets me ready for the rest of my day.

My life is really based around my house and my friends and my family at the moment, and has been for a while now.

The punishment of criminals should be of use; when a man is hanged he is good for nothing.