Apparently sometimes my humor is dryer than a desert.

Sometimes a lack of perspective can bring its challenges relative to someone who has a little bit more.

It would be awesome to know how to sing and be some sort of performer; to feed off other's people's energy is intense. The feeling they must feel would be cool. Too bad I can't sing.

I have a big personality, and I've been attracted to women with big personalities. I think that is usually going to happen when you have big personalities.

We live in a time where women should feel empowered; they have every right. I've always been attracted to women who show [that they can do anything].

I'm very progressive in a lot of ways, but I'm a very proud American. It sounds so corny to say, but I am and have always been very... I'm just so proud. I don't ever not want to live in America.

Canada is great! I love Canada. A lot of great things in Canada. I would do anything for love. But I want to live in America.

I realized that conservatism was the philosophy that best suited me, with its emphasis on individual liberty, personal responsibility, and merit.

Sometimes I just want to paint the words "It's my fault" across my forehead to save people the time of being pissed off at me.

Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.

The art of declamation has been sinking in value from the moment that speakers were foolish enough to publish, and hearers wise enough to read.

Deep inside, I am desperate to do comedy.

Only one-fourth of the sorrow in each man's life is caused by outside uncontrollable elements, the rest is self-imposed by failing to analyze and act with calmness.

Compose first, worry later.

If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression Of something beautiful, but annihilating.

The Crimea is not a disputed territory. Unlike the case of Georgia and South Ossetia, there has been no ethnic conflict there.

Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn't say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn't the one who got shot.