Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

First love, " said Ida with a sigh. "That's the one that kills you.

I need you, the reader, to imagine us, for we don't really exist if you don't.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.

The artist must try to raise the level of taste of the masses, not debase himself to the level of unformed and impoverished taste.

As a kid, I was the neighbourhood baby-sitter - very responsible, always in charge.

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives.

It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.

Fortify courage with the true rampart of patience.

If someone is very hungry, the Angkar will take him where he will be stuffed with food.

I like the way Billy Idol sings. Mommy turned me on to him.