Are we ever going to have a federal tax system that regular people can understand?

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

In order to discover who you are within, you need to attune your visionary world deep in your sub-conscience to the outward world and live it.

shall we dance into the perpetual torture of our union once more?

I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?

I wanted to be a ballerina. I changed my mind.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

I was sixteen and equipped with the appropriate genitalia, so I cleared that hurdle nicely.

Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one which, more than any other, ministers to human welfare.

Talent is like a faucet, while it is open, one must write.

When you are writing, you are - from society's point of view - only producing the first version which will then be processed and recycled.

Independent and uninvolved. Must be nice. -Tris