Are you married? What do you do for agravation?

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

Creative Commons has a lot to offer to the entertainment industry provided it is strategically merged with copyright commercialization strategy

Exercise is labor without weariness.

Every woman should be in control of the decisions that affect her own health.

I couldn't care less about who sees my bits ... My friends asked how I could do scenes like that and not get excited, but it wasn't like that. My bits looked the size of a cashew nut!

One thing changes every evening: It's the audience, and I'm working my magic. I'm always learning from it.

If people get to the end of the record, then that is a treat.

You should never have a power, in any area, with the purpose of harming someone.

Fear is what prevents the flowering of the mind.

Your best friendships are with people who share your world view.

Be happy, healthy, and let all that love flow through your heart.