Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.

Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

I've never said flange to a monkey!

When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.

Hardship is vanishing, but so is style, and the two are more closely connected than the present generation supposes.

The woman who too easily and ardently yielded her devotion will find that its vitality, like a bright fire, soon consumes itself.

Mediocrity would always win by force of numbers, but it would win only more mediocrity.

I swear by my Clarisonic Mia 2! I use it every morning when I wake up and every night before bed.

...I think that ideally that is how a company works. It becomes a place of ideas, not a place of position.

I'm a real pushover for animals.

The Law and the Lawgiver are one.

War with all its glorification of brute force is essentially a degrading thing.

No bird in a cage ever speaks. What is there to say? The sky is everywhere, churning above its head, blue and endless, calling out to it. But the caged bird can't answer anything except 'I cannot'.