Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?

I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Joy is the goal of existence, and joy is not to be stumbled upon, but to be achieved, and the act of treason is to let its vision drown in the swamp of the moment's torture.

These women, these Shark Tank Mompreneurs are so passionate about what they created and what they are doing, and that just shines through. That's a major reason why they nailed their audition.

Not all races are run on a track. And not all finish lines are marked by ticker tape.

Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected.

Our blindest impulses become evidence of perspicacity when they fall in with the course of events.

most people worry so much, they think you're not right if you don't worry.

When you sit down to paint or draw, you form yourself into a posture of praise

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

Even when you have three strikes, you're still not out. There is always something else you can do.

The squalid cash interpretation put on the word success — is our national disease.