Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.

My membership has given me everything I've ever wanted.

.. I suffered with you. I hurt with you. I bled with you -not only because we're bonded, but because the love I have for you." ~ Eric Northman in Dead in The Family.

My dogs have been my most loyal friends and constant companions.

Where do your greatest dangers lie?--In pity.

No one is so busy that he hasn't the time to dismantle a work of art.

This is the worst President ever. He [George W. Bush] is the worst President in all of American history.

Let us not complain against men because otheir rudeness, their ingratitude, their injustice, their arrogance, their love oself, their forgetfulness oothers. They are so made. Such is their nature.

[On President Kennedy's assassination Nov. 22, 1963:] Something dreadful is going to happen to the president today.

I just think that the qualities of leadership are unknown even to the leader until he's tested and given a challenge.