Art is something that nobody laughs at and nobody makes any money out of is the attitude, which I would dispute.

To Be Successful You Don't Need Beautiful Face And Heroic Body, What You Need is Skillful Mind And Ability To Perform

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life.

But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism.

I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd!

When I was doing Bean more than I’ve done him in the last few years, I did strange things - like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean.

There are two atheisms of which one is a purification of the notion of God.

Why fish in the pond when you live right next to the sea?

Characters do not change. Opinions alter, but characters are only developed.

Donald Trump has been rewriting the rules since he got into politics.

Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

The quickest way for anyone to reach the sun and the light of day is not to run west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east, plunging into the darkness until one comes to the sunrise.

The materials of the novelist must be real; they must be gathered from the field of humanity by his actual observation.

I will work and fight for stem cell research.

I was reminded of the Sydney Harris cartoon that said 'adding two numbers that have not been added before does not constitute a mathematical breakthrough'.

Acting is an aesthetic career, which is annoying.