As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.

I don't see myself as a stand-up comic doing cynical, mean-spirited or disrespectful stuff. I'm very aware that I don't like to disrespect people too much.

As you get older, you realize it's work. It's that fine line between love and companionship. But passionate love? I'd love to know how to make that last.

As soon as you find the key to success, somebody always changes the lock.

It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.

I love John Waters. There's stuff in it that's beyond the boundaries of my taste, but his movies have always been like that.

I loved the late Gilda Radner. I love Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin.

I've never looked ahead very much in my life. I've never had any grand plan from the outset. I had no burning ambition to do what I do

I think serial monogamy says it all.

Personally, I think any more than two or three kids is not a family, it's a litter.

A scary movie or a book isn't still made. But I'm waiting for that!

It seems every morning I wake up to face a list of 20 things to do, with time only to do 10, and somehow I always wind up squishing in 30.

O man! Prepare yourself for the Hereafter, obey Allah to the extent of your need for Him and anger Him to the extent of your patience in Hell.

The only way we are going to reduce disease, is to go backward to the diets and lifestyles of our ancestors.

Let no young man delay the study of philosophy, and let no old man become weary of it; for it is never too early nor too late to care for the well-being of the soul.

I wanted to be a clown when I was a kid, so I love interacting and goofing around with kids.

Nobody knows what I am trying to do but I do and I know when I succeed.

I didn't like Los Angeles very much but I like San Francisco.

Too often we tend to reduce what is strange to what is familiar. I intend to restore the familiar to the strange.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.