As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don't know, I just got quieter With my friends, I was still an extrovert.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

Talent is nothing without persistence.

Two there shall be; no more, no less. One to embody the dark side, the other to crave it.

May we all co-operate and join this war on pirates.

America today has insufficient savings to finance both crucial investment and its consumption of imports.

Sometimes there are people who don't know how to make action movies - and that situation isn't a good one.

Honestly, if you don’t fit in, then you’re probably doing the right thing.

If you love your children, if you love your country, if you love the God of love, clear your hands from slaves, burden not your children or your country with them.

You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can.

When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.

The mountain sheep are sweeter, But the valley sheep are fatter. We therefore deemed it meeter To carry off the latter.