As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

Even if you can't win show defeat it can't get it the easy way.

Compelled respect always implies fear.

Patience is real self-mastery.

The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.

As a rule, I try to steer clear of opinions pertaining to your parenting. I assume you're doing the best you can, and God bless.

I would love to be on 'Top Gear' as a star in a reasonably priced car.

Our faculties are more fitted to recognize the wonderful structure of a beetle than a Universe.

For some reason, I find that in the course of my career I've worked with more women than most men have.

Much of my work has come from being lazy.

It isn't effective or productive to force your employees to do anything. Choice empowers people and makes for a more content workforce.