As a child, I never wanted my parents to be unhappy, which meant that I would always contemplate what would make them happy.

Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they’re no good.

My father - I once asked him what was his greatest achievement. He said his greatest achievement was that he fought in five wars in the infantry, always on the front line, and never hurt anybody.

According to Gur's theory of boredom, everything that happens in the world today is because of boredom: love, war, inventions, fake fireplaces - ninety-five percent of all that is pure boredom.

It's kind of a reflex for me to ignore my own wishes and think about other people first.

If you want to learn how to be happy, you have to know what is sadness first.

Rabbits are played. Nowadays it's all about the turtles. Tell them it's a ninja, they'll freak.

The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

Writing a story is kind of like surfing, as opposed to the novel, where you use a GPS to get somewhere. With surfing, you kind of jump.

For three months, a person sits and looks at you, imagining a kiss.

Most of the Jewish writer friends I have are American, and I feel closer to them because they're always obsessed with one issue - identity: what does it mean to be an American Jew?

-What is nothing? I impetuously asked.-It is what you can see of your eyes without a mirror, was the answer.

I have no one to leave the money to. I'm a single man. I like spending my money.

I got drunk when I was five. Everybody gets drunk before they're 21.

Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map!

Art is endless like a river flowing, passing, yet remaining.

Whatever God's Word says I am - that's what I am! Whatever His Word says I can do - with His help I can do! Whatever His Word says He will do - He will do!

Self-Development Quotes on: Courage, Honesty Any kind of lasting success is rooted in honesty.

[about her offer of a Swedish massage] Alex: You're not Swedish. Brittany: Yeah, well, neither are you. So if I do it wrong you'll never know the difference.

Elections should be held on April 16th- the day after we pay our income taxes. That is one of the few things that might discourage politicians from being big spenders.

When I look into your eyes, one word leaps to my mind every time: Forever.