As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

The goal is to move the thinking that we do every day to the feeling that we often ignore and don't pay attention to.

The Highest Heavens is the throne of the Holy One.

Fear ends where love begins.

Uselessness, she thought, was the permanent condition of parenthood.

When you're a dancer who is injured, you are at the bottom of the food chain. We are so replaceable.

Life is an occasion...rise to it.

I can say unequivocally that the boycott does not work. It's never complete enough to have impact unless it's backed by force, and I don't think anybody in America seriously proposes that.

It's a wonderful life if you can find it.

Of course, I do my own stunts. And I also do my own lying.

What I'm looking forward to is changing the course America is on.