As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Plant a seed of friendship reap a bouquet of happiness.

Love finds an altar for forbidden fires.

An enormous part of our mature experience cannot not be expressed in words.

If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone.

Pray anyway. Who knows what God can do through your prayer?

Larry Fitzgerald is one of the hardest-working guys I've ever seen. We spent some time training in Minnesota last offseason, and to see what he does to get better, he has to be the best.

So much worse are the consequences of anger than its causes.

The fight for human rights is about speaking truth to power.

To love is human. To feel pain is human. Yet to still love despite the pain is pure angel.

No one keeps the container, they always keep the product.