As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.

I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

Because I go outside sometimes, I'm exposed to terrible, terrible music in public.

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.

Metal is easily my favorite thing - Exodus and Anthrax and Megadeth - so it just kind of organically came through in the standup act.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

You can get angry, you can get even, or you can get ahead.

[H]e lay awake, dreading the dawn when he would have to say good-bye to the small universe he had built for himself over the years.

It's about time we stopped buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.

The first rule for escaping prison in the United States is always having someone more important than yourself to incriminate.

We, the women of the Senate, with President Obama by our side, will keep fighting - our shoulders square, our lipstick on - because you deserve equal pay for your hard work.

Negro banks, as a rule, have failed because the people, taught that their own pioneers in business cannot function in this sphere, withdrew their deposits.

I don't really go mountain biking per se, like a proper sport.

Being the son of a filmmaker, you are aware of a career as a director. You don't think of it as just movies, but as a life.

What defines us is how well we rise after we fall.