As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

With or without money, the work must be done.

the euro, it seems, is stuck in a political no man's land – trapped between two opposing world views. And the battleground is not economics, but ethics.

You idiot!" She spat, flattening her ears. "What are you doing in my territory?""Drowning?" Replied Graystripe. "Can't you do that in your own territory?" "Ah, but who would rescue me there?

A solitary life cherishes mere fancies until they become manias.

Look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership.

You will excel only by maximizing your strengths, never by fixing your weaknesses.

I learned how to scuba dive, which is something that I've always wanted to do.

Do you ever find yourself climbing into an open grave during a bombing raid and wish you'd just stayed in bed?

My ideal meal would probably be the cheesiest pasta or pizza, followed by something creamy and chocolaty. I mean, just the worst things, really.

The great danger of being around un-excellent people is that you start to become like them without even knowing it.