As a live stand-up comedy performer, I have the benefit of choosing real entrance music.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

Of all the hard jobs around, one of the hardest is being a good teacher.

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

I think sometimes it's hard to know what you feel, or to know what's real and what's not, because love or hate or any feeling is a belief. You can say you hate someone, but you don't truly know them.

To the man whose senses are alive and alert there is not even the need to stir from one's threshold.

What tyranny could exceed a tyranny that dictates to the human heart?

Try to write poems at least one person in the room will hate.

I want to promote positivity.

Thus does the Muse herself move men divinely inspired, and through them thus inspired a Chain hangs together of others inspired divinely likewise.

Nothing is so commonplace has the wish to be remarkable.

To be alone by being part of the universe-fitting in completely to an environment of woods and silence and peace. Everything you do becomes a unity and a prayer. Unity within and without.