As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

Popularity and adulation are far more dangerous for the Christian than persecution. It is easy when all goes smoothly to lose our sense of balance and perspective.

But the real secret to lifelong good health is actually the opposite: Let your body take care of you.

The one that works the hardest comes out on top.

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

Our goal must be not peace in our time, but peace for all time.

Your passion must be tempered with patience. Maybe long-suffering patience would be a better word.

He stomped away like a pint-sized Godzilla looking for Tokyo.

I think seeing films should be interactive. I'd rather have people see a film that I'm in and either absolutely love it or absolutely hate it, than be like, "Oh, yeah, it was good." That's the worst!

Most human beings are quite likable if you don't see too much of them.

We create the government that screws you, and then you're supposed to thank us for protecting you from it.