As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and Italians; that's what we grow up with.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

You can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.

Now that you made me a knight again", he said lightly, "I'll have to keep my mind on certain knightly virtues like chastity."Ciara could not remember that ever being a knightly virtue.

As far as he was concerned, there were only two all-important laws on earth:1. Don’t murder people.2. Never swear in front of Lilly.

You may ask for anything, but God will only give you what fits in His divine plan. John 14:14

If you would have a faithful servant and one that you like serve yourself.

I remember walking out in front of that crowd, all the parents faces and the applause, and folding my little self in half and thinking, I could get used to this. And I just never stopped.

I'm an artist. There are a lot of people in the business who aren't. It's like they've got a shoe repair shop.

Nothing is ever going to describe in words what your mother looked like at twenty when the moonlight just fell on her face in such a way. Only a picture can show you that.

Parents appreciate the child who agrees; they condemn the child who disagrees.

Sometimes when you finish a book, you don't know quite what you've got.