As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I fell into the water with a large splash and sunk like a stone. My feet guided the way as I drifted further into the murky depths. Down. Down. Down.

Don't leave a trace on my shoulder. I am a burden to the world.

The ground had opened up and spit out hell, Nell thought, and the detritus was Shiloh.

Worry less about what other people think about you and more about what you think about them.

I think to feel this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn.

A bit of tolerance is worth a megabyte of flamming.

sometimes duties act on the soul like weeds on a flower. They crowd it out.

To say you loved a person. / To say that person no longer exists. / A tragic flawed fate going on and on and on.

It takes a strong character for a person to say, 'I can't do it.

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.