As if finding a guy to solve your problems isn't a contradiction of terms.

Peacocks have the bright feathers. Fish have the long tails. Women have the mall.

Happy is entirely up to you and always has been.

The key to happiness - as any good fairy godmother will tell you - is not to avoid problems, but to overcome them.

What was God thinking when he created a guy this handsome? He wasn't a gift to womankind, he was a torture device.

Sometimes love not only lifts you to the ceiling, it also keeps your eyes there.

I don't care what you Yanks say, cheese should not whiz.

Beauty has a persuasive power all its own.

Many perfumes promise to lure men to women. None of them smell of motherhood. None of them proclaim the wearer to be tidy, thrifty, and sensible.

You need to be more careful, or you could hurt yourself.

I didn't bother to explain about the glitter in my hair. I figured they could think it was a family trait. We all glittered, just like the Cullens in Twilight.

Opportunities will never notify you before knocking, but you need to be ready to open the doors.

Why don't I just give you a pair of my panties to hang around your neck? Then whenever you feel jealous, you can wave them at whoever's pissing you off.

Great faith equals great power.

You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything in your factory and hire someone to protect against this because of the work the rest of us did.

You don't run 26 miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and a secret recipe.

The best test of the quality of a civilization is the quality of its leisure.

Of all the cankers of human happiness none corrodes with so silent, yet so baneful an influence, as indolence.

Genius may stand on the shoulders of giants, but it stands alone.

I thought I'd never get to see that. Florence Griffith Joyner -- every time she ran, I ran.