As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

Our inner fire is the spark of hope that drives us through even the darkest times. Do not be so quick to dismiss it.

If you have a dream no one else can see, a reward awaits you that no one else can have.

The principles of spiritual kingdom has been packaged in the written word of God

Always remember that the soundest way to progress in any organization is to help the man ahead of you to get promoted.

Decisions are made by those who show up. Don't ever forget that you're a citizen of this world.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

I'm sometimes afraid I'll cross a line and it'll be difficult to come back, say, to dinner.

I can tell you all kinds of moral tales, but fashion and reality are vaguely different.

If you can learn to love the imperfect people in your family then it's possible that someone can learn to love a imperfect you.