As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Love is not an emotion. It is your very existence.

I am afraid... But I keep on loving what's on the other side of this fight, and that will have to make me brave.

I was going to have to face the man who'd destroyed my kingdom, and the boy who was the reason.

Even on this level, it is at bottom not deception [men] hate but the dire, inimical consequences of certain kinds of deception

Regret is the sound of the ghosts of our own making. I will live with mine until I die.

Please deal with the Radical Islamic Threat today.

Because it's important. Laws can be reversed, Supreme Court decisions can be overturned, gender classifications can continue.

Take the year a country first reaches 50% literacy and add one or two generations to allow the idea to sink in and, democracy, more or less automatically, appears.

I've always had better luck learning things on my own. And I really love the challenge of doing it yourself and kind of being alone against the system.

Yeah, you know, within the context of TV families, these are pretty unsavory characters.