As the days grow short, some faces grow long. But not mine. Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy. It's time to start making soup again.

What I'm going to do is pry every stinking tag off these f.ing chairs and make a f.ing collar and throw that cat right in Connor's puked-up face. Pale turd.

Fine! You guys can all be beautiful snowflakes! I'm gonna go over here and be an awkward snowflake!

The surge in right-wing populism and the phenomenon of Trump are related. You can think of them together as the same problem.

No amount of thought can ever reveal what comes unexpectedly.

I could not undertake to form a nucleus of an institution for the development of infant minds, where none already existed. It would be too cruel.

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of job.

For some women, a man is their whole meal. For me, life is a full meal and a man is just the hot sauce. If a man wants to be my whole meal, I say, 'That's nice, baby, but right now, I'm already full.

I always wanted to be a teacher.

Nowhere is wisdom more necessary than in the guidance of charitable impulses. Meaning well is only half our duty; Thinking right is the other, and equally important, half.

Death is the greatest evil, because it cuts off hope.