As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree, ' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Misery can be easily drown within a good tune.

Tell him that riches will not procure for you a single moment of happiness. Luxury consoles poverty alone, and at that only for a short time, until one becomes accustomed to it.

Anyone who's a chef, who loves food, ultimately knows that all that matters is: Is it good? Does it give pleasure?

In the secret pocket, she often kept a small pocket dictionary, which she would take out whenever she encountered a word she did not know.

If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: 'God with us.'

Morality is the fruit of religion: to desire the former without the latter is to desire an orange without an orange-tree.

I hate a woman who offers herself because she ought to do so, and cold and dry thinks of her sewing when making love.

Everyone has something they don't want anyone to see; that is one of the functions of a home, to provide a spot to keep such things.

With my mom, when someone was gone, they were gone. She didn't waste another minute thinking about them, and neither should you.

Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind