As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

I know: "Guns Don't Kill People." But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, "Bang, bang, you're dead," not much actually happens.

How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

The judge like a great ponderous djinn stepped through the fire and the flames delivered him up as if he were in some way native to their element.

The way a man's mind runs is the way he is sure to go.

I don't snack. I don't generally eat sweets or drink soda. I never eat between meals or even before big ones.

But it is not the rich man only who is under the dominion of things; they too are slaves who, having no money, are unhappy from the lack of it.

God ought to be given the choice portion of our wealth and not its dregs.

There's nothing wrong with the Little League World Series that locking out the adults couldn't cure.

I wouldn't put myself in that bracket, but it's one of those things. I think what helps is that we [with Tom Hardey] don't socialize, we don't really know each other, we purely work together.

We have all forgot more than we remember.

Always remember that you are bigger than the moment, you are more than anything that could ever happen to you.

I love to make movies about young people - young scientists that are inventing things and all the writing they did was very funny and very true.