As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

Sweet are the thoughts that savour of content, The quiet mind is richer than a crown...

There must be some kind of way out of here, ' said the joker to the thief...

Live. Do whatever possible to stay alive. I'll be waiting. Praying, faithful. Just live. - Jo Marie Rose, Silver Linings

Forget about style; worry about results.

Laugh a lot. Never go a day without laughing at least once.

Error is ever the sequence of haste.

That series of inventions by which man from age to age has remade his environment is a different kind of evolution -- not biological, but cultural evolution . . . "The Ascent of Man.

I live in L.A., so layers are essential to my wardrobe. I like slim silhouettes, typically, and I love good tailoring.

I would love to have a drink with Meryl Streep or Prince. Those are my top two people I would love to talk to.

Angel: And what will you do with the world, once it is yours?' N. Hob: 'Punish it, for not loving me.