As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

Freedom keeps us soaring, but quarreling destroys our ability to fly.

I smile more when people think 'I am fool

Smile is the vainest thing you can wear without costing you anything

Artificial manners vanish the moment the natural passions are touched.

When things are very real and honest, they don't go away.

The scares are the easier part of scary movies. The hard part of scary movies is what leads up to the scares.

Growing up in the business you have to grow up very fast - you do have a different type of childhood, that has its benefits and it has its drawbacks.

I get along with everyone except for men my age, who are bourgeois or retired or boring.

The very nature of paradise is that it will be lost.

Anticipatory plagiarism occurs when someone steals your original idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born.