Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs.", October 31, 1977]

Royalty is the gold filling in a mouthful of decay

Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building.

Writers don't need love; all they require is money.

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.

They spend their time looking forward to the past.

A refined sort of butcher, a woman is.

We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a check every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss.

Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

Its remarkable the logic we build around a misapprehension.

The highway of human possibility extends on forever into unknown territories, which have not yet been imagined.

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.

Opposition is true friendship.

Yeah, it's risky, but no more risky than driving a car.

Natural justice is a compact resulting from expediency by which men seek to prevent one man from injuring others and to protect him from being injured by them.

Be a gentleman farmer.

People keep asking me if I am having more fun, being blonde, but I always have fun! Whether I'm blonde, redhead, or brunette! I always have fun.

To complain about critics in a business is like a sailor complaining about the waves. Go back to the beach if you don't like it.

He who discommendeth others obliquely commendeth himself (Christian morals).