Astronomers have discovered a planet that is twice the size of earth and made of diamonds. President Obama says the planet may be inhabited by aliens not paying their fair share.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

You are a seed

Hate is the father of all evil.

The problem is not that you cannot have what you think you want. The problem is that when you get what you think you want it won't satisfy.

Foreign powers do not seem to appreciate the true character of our government.

The secret of life is to be found in life itself, in the full organic, intellectual and spiritual activities of our body.

Fear was there, too, cold and hot at the same time, making everything in the plain room sharper, with fewer shadows.

Who is't that to woman's beauty would submit, And yet refuse the fetters of their wit?

Confidence is what makes you stand out.

How could you get angry with Jackie Gleason?

The man that put that hurt look in your eyes, could be worth everything, or nothing at all.