At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

To all things clergic I am allergic.

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.

I’ve always hated the “Who are you?" question. This is a philosophical inquiry. Answering that question is why we’re on earth. You can’t answer it in thirty seconds or in an elevator.

Age is not specified by years, but how you feel and right now I am 99 year old

do not be so quick to say "okay" it is alright to disagree with the action yet love the person.

Assassination makes only martyrs, not converts.

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your [Hillary Clinton] damn e-mails!

If language was given to men to conceal their thoughts, then gesture's purpose was to disclose them.

Before you write - remember that every speech has something of 'you' in the writing. Don't take that away when you write. Be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

My background was art school, documentary director and surfer with a keen interest in thrilling acts of life threatening stupidity.