At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

You are still a spoiled rotten brat, Richie, ” Seth said to Vegas, with no emotion on his face. “But I’m not going to let anyone hurt you...

There are the medical dangers of football in general caused by head trauma over repetitive hits.

War will disappear only when men shall take no part whatever in violence and shall be ready to suffer every persecution that their abstention will bring them. It is the only way to abolish war.

Life isn't like a book. Life isn't logical or sensible or orderly. Life is a mess most of the time. And theology must be lived in the midst of that mess.

Got everything I'm asking for but you.

I was getting hot flashes and sweats on a regular basis. That's not normal, even for my age.

Of course risk-taking does not always pay off, but it's a lot of fun!

Think of Slide as a giant media network for people to transmit information. The content that's in there now has been provided by users - it's whatever they want it to be.

You don't say that for a senator to be a great senator he has to vote against his constituency.

One of the problems of writing is that anyone who commits themselves to that process has to believe that they're good.