At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being.""It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.

It’s like a jolt of electricity, but worse.

To be able to say "I love you", one has to be able to say "I

The quarrels of friends are the opportunities of foes.

America is a country where they have freedom of speech but everyone says the same thing.

Sweet is the remembrance of troubles when you are in safety.

If we leave our smells behind us when we leave a room, surely something of our souls must remain when we leave this life?" - Qyburn

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

Moral habits, induced by public practices, are far quicker in making their way into men's private lives, than the failings and faults of individuals are in infecting the city at large.

I don't feel the need to brand myself in that way [social media]. But as a means to share information and raise awareness of things, I think these social-networking platforms are unprecedented.